Is your husband sexually attracted to men? Are you a wife and mom in love with another woman, but don't know how to come out to your husband? Not sure how to tell the kids?
I think I can help, no matter which side of the closet you're trapped in, because I've personally lived it...and come out on the other side.
The coming out of a partner within a marriage is especially fraught, as feelings of love, anger, and profound grief often coexist for both of you. And sometimes our friends and family simply don't understand:
"You should be happy he's finally living his authentic life!"
"How can you do this to your wife and kids? You decided to get married, so live with it."
"Didn't you know she was attracted to women before you married her?"
"Stop it. It's a sin."
Even therapists can add to the shame and confusion (actual quotes):
"Just have an open marriage; everybody's doing it!"
"You were intimate with your husband even though he told you he's gay? Why??"
"It should be like it is in Russia...against the law."
I began focusing on helping folks in mixed orientation marriages a year or so after my own marriage ended. My ownexperience was extremely painful, and I couldn't find comfort anywhere I looked. Not from friends, other therapists, or even the chaplain that married us. No one knew what to say. Or they said exactly the wrong thing. I swore I would make sure no one ever felt as lonely and isolated as I did, or as rejected as my ex-husband was.
I always say that every mixed orientation marriage is the same and every one is different. Absolutely no one can tell you what it should look like. You may divorce. You may stay together and have a don't ask, don't tell agreement. You may decide to have a polyamorous marriage. You may stay married, live separately and be the best of friends. You may cut ties completely.
Only you know what the next phase will look like. My job is simply to help you navigate your journey, either individually or as a couple.
Whether you choose to work with me or turn to other resources, I wish you the very best outcome. And to anyone reading this, please know that you are not alone.
Kimberly Brooks Mazella LPC
6723 Whittier Avenue, Suite 207
McLean, VA 22101
(703) 558-9139
What Others Are Saying:
“Kimberly helped me through a rough time in my life, helped me better identify my strengths and weaknesses, and most importantly how to run with it and live a healthier mental being. The things she helped me understand about myself had an immediate and profound impact on the rest of my life.”
G. - Fairfax, Virginia
"Kim is so encouraging; that means a lot to me. I spent my life playing it safe, so this was a good opportunity for me to take a chance. She played a large part of getting me back on my feet and for that I'm eternally grateful."
A. - Arlington, Virginia.
"Kim's hard work (and patience) helped me through a particularly difficult time. I know that I have the courage and strength to finish these last bits of work and re-emerge as the person that I am supposed to be -- happy and at peace. I could not have gotten this far without her knowledge and guidance."
D. - Arlington, Virginia.